Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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