I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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