if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
