I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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