i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
