I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
