Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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