what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
