I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
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We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
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And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
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