Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
40s are totally the cure
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
