it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Alive.
So much puke
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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