Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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