Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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