Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just google imaged poop.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
