wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
