So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
