went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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