I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
