VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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