I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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