is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
