And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
