i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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