shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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