Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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