What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
