that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
