Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize