i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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