Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she told me i tasted like america
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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