the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I touched a dick in church today
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
