Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
either way he was missing a nipple.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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