Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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