I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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