I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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