it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
