yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
