I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
