The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
