3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
