What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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