Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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