Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
