all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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