this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
