I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
