omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize