Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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