I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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