and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
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I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
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Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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