if i can run in heels then i can drive
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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