got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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