ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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