Your dad touched me again.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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