onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
