Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
