I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
