somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
