She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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