They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
