So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
