Will you blow on my dice?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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